


dreamceler fixes the multiverse

by King_Fuffy



Series: dreamceler [1]
Category: Original Work, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic), Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle, The Lorax (2012), The Muppets - All Media Types, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: AI Dungeon Generated, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Alternate Universe - Victorian, Capitalism, Eco-Friendliness is ironically evil, Hypnotism, I wrote this with the help of GPT-2, Lots of alternate universes, M/M, Meta, Multiverse, Plural, Slow Burn, THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED, Vampire Hunters, Vampires, Wizards, blatant metafuckery, no beta we die like technoblade, problem sleuth-style interlude, sherlock holmes is here I guess, well sort of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:54:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 43
Words: 7,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27674326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/King_Fuffy/pseuds/King_Fuffy
Summary: Dream ends up in the Onceler's universe through a twist of fate, and the pair have to repair an increasingly deteriorating multiverse.
Relationships: Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF)/The Once-ler (The Lorax)
Series: dreamceler [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2023651
Comments: 15
Kudos: 45





	1. bishie sparkles

**Author's Note:**

> this is my ticket to the Dream SMP, I have offered dream 500 chapters of dreamceler fanfic in exchange for a whitelist. cross your fingers.

**YESTERDAY MORNING**

Dream was scrolling through his Tumblr feed, minding his own business, when he received an ask in his inbox. Confused, he clicked it- he never got asks around this time.

The ask read “What would you do if you were in The Lorax?”

Naturally, Dream responded “hook up with that twink the onceler, because the onceler is hot.” However, he knew that even if the Onceler was real, they would never be able to be together because Sapnap would never approve. The Onceler was a capitalist, Sapnap was a communist. They were bound to be mortal enemies.

Suddenly a portal opened beneath him. Dream screamed. He had JUST finished with the worm incident yesterday. Dream vowed that he would escape this adventure as quickly as possible or his name wasn’t Dream Wazinski Taken!!!11!!

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dream found himself in a tree, which wasn’t all that unusual because he always did his video recording in trees. What was strange, however, was that the tree was shaking, and also very fluffy.

Dream realized just seconds before he fell that he was sitting on a truffula tree.

He fell on the Onceler (because of course it was the onceler), who released a host of bishie sparkle particles. Dream knew the Law of Particles well. Also he was laying on top of him in a very gay position. Like, super gay. The romantic tension was INSANE man, like you don’t just GET this in real life. In this essay I will- wait no they’re doing something now.

Dream got up and helped up The Onceler. The Onceler was like “Hey, I don’t know where you came from but you probably need somewhere to stay. Wanna stay in my place?” because he thought Dream was hot. Dream was like “yeah, okay.” and the two of them set off toward the Onceler’s cottage. When they got to the cottage, it was nighttime, and THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED, OH NO. They argued for a while (Dream wanted the Onceler to have the bed, while the Onceler wanted Dream to have the bed.) Eventually the Onceler got the bed, because this is a slow burn fic, while Dream slept on a makeshift cot made of a truffula tree. It was a very good night.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**TheLorax has joined the game**


	2. loraxes and truffula punching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dream vs. the lorax. also, powers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah

Dream and the Onceler woke up to the sound of knocking on the door. The Onceler was about to roll out of bed, but Dream mumbled “Yo i’ll get it.” and got up to get the door.

Dream opened the door to reveal a very angry Lorax. The Lorax started in on a tirade; “Now listen here, you punk, you can’t just blah blah trees blippity blah bleh blippity blah trees blah bleh blah...”

Dream was tired and not paying very much attention, which can somewhat explain why he kicked the Lorax like a football off into the distance.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At this point, you kind of have to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. See, there is a very specific gene found in some Americans; The MERICAN FOOTBALL GENE. Ever since the modern MERICAN FOOTBALL came to fruition, players of MERICAN FOOTBALL have had this gene. Now, what with reproduction and all that and the absolutely colossal number of MERICAN FOOTBALL players, most Americans have at least one chromosome containing the essence of MERICAN FOOTBALL.

There’s another factor in play here; the similarity of a Homo arboreal (in layman’s terms, a common lorax) to a football.

Naturally, since Dream has a MERICAN FOOTBALL gene, his natural response to seeing something that looks like a football is to kick it, which is why the Lorax ended up being kicked across two counties and a town.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MUCH, MUCH LATER

The onceler was sitting and knitting a thing, and Dream was outside, practicing his minecart-ladder-boat-haybale clutch. The Onceler was close to running out of truffula yarn, so he asked Dream to go chop down a tree. Dream said “yeah, okay” and ran off to find a tree.

After having to speed-bridge off a cliff and then MLG boat, Dream found a tree, but then he realized that he did not have an axe to chop it down with. He was just about to go bac to the Onceler’s mobile home when he had a really silly idea.

Dream set down his items a good while away from the tree, spun around, and wound up for a punch.

_WHOP_

The section of the tree that Dream punched broke, then suddenly shrank to a smaller size. Dream didn’t pick it up just yet, he was too busy staring at his hands in wonder. He had superhuman strength now! Dream punched the rest of the tree down, then brought the materials back to the mobile home. But he didn’t notice the wooden, all-natural security camera observing him…

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, a shadowy figure watched Dream return to the mobile home ominously. “Well, well, well. Maybe I can use this ‘Dream’ fellow’s unnatural powers to further my eco-friendly goals…”


	3. CHAPTER 3 CHAPTER 1: flee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is where we start spiraling down into hell forever.

_ Hey, ho, hey, ho… _

Dream opened his eyes, then blinked for a couple of seconds.

_ That monster’s got to go… _

“...mmm, wha?” he mumbled. “Why are we moving?”

_ Toss the trailer to a lake… _

His eyes opened wide, and he launched himself out of bed.

_ Destroy it now and might be fake… _

Dream rushed around, getting dressed, and then roused the Onceler. “Something’s up.”

“What’s going on..?” muttered the Onceler.

Dream peered out of the trailer to behold a frightening spectacle- an angry mob with torches and pitchforks, shoving the trailer to parts unknown. The enraged chanting ceased, to be replaced by incessant murmuring.

The leader of the mob yelled “At last, the monster reveals itself!”

The Lorax, because _OF FUCKING COURSE_ it was the Lorax, stepped forward. “Prepare to meet your DOOM, you unholy fiend!” 

Dream ducked back into the trailer, and hoisted the Onceler onto his shoulder. “We gotta go, Oncie. They’re out for blood!” The Onceler blushed as Dream scurried around, gathering materials.

Meanwhile, outside the trailer, the angry mob gathered around the Lorax.

“Listen closely, my faithful friends. The day of reckoning is at hand! We have captured the beast, and soon we will dispose of it, saving our town!” The Lorax’s eyes glowed as he used his Eco-Hypnotism. Since he was so focused on brainwashing the townsfolk, The Lorax didn’t notice as Dream towered up and leapt off the trailer, using a water bucket to slow his fall.

One of the townsfolk noticed a flash in the corner of their eyes. They turned…

“Hey, the monster’s getting away!”

And Dream ran.

  
  



	4. CHAPTER 3 CHAPTER 2: trance music from racing game, CHAPTER 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angry mobs are angry

The branches snapped and crackled as Dream raced through the brush with the Onceler in tow. "What are we doing?" asked the Onceler.

Dream stared back at him with the most deadpan look on his face, coming to a stop behind a fluffy bush as the mob split up, calling through the woods to each other as they searched.

"Finding the Everlucky Tree," he told the Onceler as the pair then began moving again, slowly this time. "Legend says that if you plead for help to it, it will help you accomplish your goals."

The Onceler wore a devilish grin. "You want us to cut it down so we can get rich."

Dream tapped his nose and smiled as a spotlight alighted a few meters away from them. The two of them crawled away again.

"We need to get away from this place," he whispered to the Onceler. "I've got some ideas for how we might go about it. Now listen closely..."

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dream walked out of the brush into the clearing. The wind swept over his back as the spotlight aligned on him. A flicker of flashlights alighted upon him as leaves fluttered down. He looked away from the blinding lights and noticed a group of small elves trying to steal his shoes.

Shading his eyes with his hand, he cupped his mouth with his other hand and yelled.

"COME AND GET ME, SUCKERS!!!"


	5. CHAPTER 3 CHAPTER 2: trance music from racing game, CHAPTER 2

"COME AND GET ME, SUCKERS!!!"

Hearing Dream's yell, the Onceler skedaddled. He tried to move as fast as he could, but the vines tripped him up. He shook out of the loops and scrambled away, unknowing of the havoc he had just wreaked.

The trees began to creak ominously.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dream began sweating behind his mask. The villagers began slowly moving toward him, while in the back a monster of a man rose up, with the Lorax riding piggyback-

-and then a log trap activated and slammed the entire village off into the distance.

Dream just kinda stood there after that.

The Onceler tumbled out of the brush. "Holy shit, are you okay?" he asked.

Dream exhaled. "Yeah, I think so."

The Onceler smiled. "Then we've got a tree to find."

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Lorax and his merry band of incredibly stupid villagers shot through the air at an alarming speed. The Lorax crossed his arms and harrumphed. "Well, that was a disaster." he noted.

"But Boss, now we know what they're after!" said a scrawny toothpick of a man. "They want the Everlucky Tree!" 

The Lorax paused. "Well then."

His mouth curled up into an awful grin. "Let's crash that party."


	6. a prologue

The forest is empty.

Wind skims the tops of the trees, bringing with it a sound like wind chimes, or say, an unplayed flute. A familiar note is produced. It's the one a barbaloot makes when it mourns the loss of a home.

It is the sixth chapter, and with all five proceeding it, you begin to question why you're even reading this fanfic. The forest is empty, and it will continue to be empty for a long while to come. This world should have ended with the end of the last arc, and yet, in spite of this fact, the forest continues to move and change. The story presently eluding you is only the latest sleight of hand in the repertoire of an unseen failed stage magician, one to engender a sense not of mirth, but of sheer hatred. The failed stage magician is doing this purely to get a rise out of you. "Boo," you yell, "Just pull a rabbit out of your ratty old hat already."

The existence of this fanfic proves there is no God, because if there were, the writer would have died a painful and horrible death four chapters ago.

_"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing's ever going to get better. It's not."_

-Julius Caesar

You are 100 percent positive that Julius Caesar said that, and whoever tells you otherwise is a filthy liar.

You have a feeling it's going to be a long 494 chapters.


	7. capitalism

The forest is no longer empty.

Dream and the Onceler made their way through the forest, which became more similar to a jungle the deeper they went. "Must be getting close to the Everlucky Tree." noted Dream as they traversed a particularly tricky stream.

The Onceler's ears pricked up as he heard the sound of a capitalist. "Hey, what's up?" Dream asked.

The Onceler ignored him and disappeared through the brush. The rustling moved quickly away from Dream. Dream rolled his eyes. "Come on, man..."

And then the rustling halted abruptly.

"...Bro? You there?"

There was no response.

"Stop playing." Dream said with a stern look on his face.

There was still no response.

"I'm coming in there."

...

"Alright, you asked for it."

Dream rushed into the brush, pushing past stray branches... to find himself in the streets of Victorian London at dusk.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The forest is empty again.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Capitalist, Knight to G4.**


	8. wizard vampire hunter with a gun

The Onceler is somewhere new.

"Wow, who knew going into suspicious bushes led you to a Victorian city?" he wondered. He saw a red-cloaked figure in the crowd ahead of him. He was about to follow the red cloaked figure when his back was struck by a loud and powerful sound.

And then the remaining magic on his person activated the launch pad underneath him, sending him tumbling up onto the rooftops.

"What the hell was that?" he asked in astonishment.

"You shouldn't be here."

Whirling around in astonishment, he spotted the speaker- the red-hooded figure from earlier.

"I... I know that voice." said the Onceler.

"Yes." said the figure. "You know me as the greatest hunter of your kind, vampire!"

"What!? I'm not a vampire!"

The hooded figure totally disregarded him. "The one, the only..."

**_"WIZARD VAMPIRE HUNTER WITH A GUN KERMIT THE FROG!"_ **


	9. boom

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dream scanned the crowd frantically for the Onceler again and again, not noticing as the streets gradually emptied. He found nothing. "Where is he?" muttered Dream. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"WIZARD VAMPIRE HUNTER WITH A GUN KERMIT THE FROG!" 

The Onceler stood tall in the face of Kermit. 

And then the gun went off, and everything went to shit.

Five things happened in a small amount of time:

1\. "I CAN'T SEE!" yelled Kermit. 

2\. The Onceler stumbled away as fast as possible.

3\. The Lorax appeared out of nowhere and stole Kermit's gun.

4\. The Onceler tripped.

5\. The Lorax used the gun to tase the Onceler into oblivion.


	10. Chapter 10

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	11. Chapter 11

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	12. Chapter 12

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	13. Chapter 13

...and the Onceler fell unconsious.


	14. soot

Dream stared at a map of London and mumbled under his breath.

A voice rasped "Looking at the map of London? Maybe I can be of some assistance." Then there was a series of coughs. "HACK, bleh, ugh. Wow, that really came off as super intimidating didn't it. Anyway, who are you?"

Dream spun around to see Wilbur Soot in a cloak. "Wilbur??? It's me, Dream!"

Wilbur tilted his head in confusion. "I... don't know who Dream is. I mean, I know that you're Dream, but I don't know why you think I should know you, if that makes sense."

Dream raised his hands in the air and gestured at his mask. "Wilbur, it's me. Dream. Dreamwastaken McPissboy. The Green Man."

Wilbur paused. "Yeah, none-none of that made sense. Also what are you mumbling about?"

Dream put a hand to his mask and sighed. "Whatever. I'm just looking at a map of London, and trying to figure out the best way to search for my friend. Can you help?"

Wilbur nodded. "Yea, sure. I'll take this side, you take the other."


	15. montage

~~MONTAGE MUSIC BEGINS PLAYING~~

Dream peeks around a corner.

Wilbur checks his map and turns to face the local pub.

Dream approaches and sees a guy who looks kind of like the Onceler, but when he turns around, his nose is too big. Dream slumps down.

Wilbur notices a guy staring at him.

Dream goes over to a door, and kicks it in, revealing a very frightened man.

An explosion rocks the London skyline, and Wilbur goes flying away from the source.

Dream's foot splashes a puddle, reflected in it. Wilbur follows, but does not have a reflection.

Dream turns back to the map and thumbs through it rapidly.

Wilbur turns to him and smiles, revealing fangs as he thumbs at a specific address; 221b Baker Street.


	16. u-u

"So, that's who we want to find. Can you help?" asks Wilbur.

The two residents of 221b Baker Street consider it. Then the tall one stands up. 

"Watson, we need to talk."


	17. the wikipedia article for Sherlock Holmes

# Sherlock Holmes

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

For other uses, see [Sherlock Holmes (disambiguation)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sherlock_Holmes_\(disambiguation\)).

**Sherlock Holmes** ([/ˈʃɜːrlɒk ˈhoʊmz/](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Help:IPA/English) or [/-ˈhoʊlmz/](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Help:IPA/English)) is a fictional [private detective](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Private_investigator) created by British author [Sir Arthur Conan Doyle](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arthur_Conan_Doyle). Referring to himself as a "consulting detective" in the stories, Holmes is known for his proficiency with observation, deduction, [forensic science](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forensic_science), and [logical reasoning](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Logical_reasoning) that borders on the fantastic, which he employs when investigating cases for a wide variety of clients, including [Scotland Yard](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scotland_Yard).

First appearing in print in 1887's _[A Study in Scarlet](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Study_in_Scarlet)_ , the character's popularity became widespread with the first series of short stories in _[The Strand Magazine](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Strand_Magazine)_ , beginning with "[A Scandal in Bohemia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Scandal_in_Bohemia)" in 1891; additional tales appeared from then until 1927, eventually totalling [four novels and 56 short stories](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canon_of_Sherlock_Holmes). All but one are set in the [Victorian](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victorian_era) or [Edwardian](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edwardian_era) eras, between about 1880 and 1914. Most are narrated by the character of Holmes's friend and biographer [Dr. John H. Watson](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Watson), who usually accompanies Holmes during his investigations and often shares quarters with him at the address of [221B Baker Street](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/221B_Baker_Street), London, where many of the stories begin.

Though not the first fictional detective, Sherlock Holmes is arguably the best known.[[1]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sherlock_Holmes#cite_note-:1-1) By the 1990s there were already over 25,000 stage adaptations, films, television productions and publications featuring the detective,[[2]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sherlock_Holmes#cite_note-:2-2)and _[Guinness World Records](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guinness_World_Records)_ lists him as the most portrayed literary human character in film and television history.[[3]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sherlock_Holmes#cite_note-:0-3) Holmes's popularity and fame are such that many have believed him to be not a fictional character but a real individual;[[4]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sherlock_Holmes#cite_note-:5-4)[[5]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sherlock_Holmes#cite_note-:6-5) numerous literary and fan societies have been founded on [this pretense](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sherlockian_game). Avid readers of the Holmes stories helped create the modern practice of [fandom](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fandom).[[6]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sherlock_Holmes#cite_note-:3-6) The character and stories have had a profound and lasting effect on [mystery writing](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Detective_fiction) and [popular culture](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Popular_culture_references_to_Sherlock_Holmes) as a whole, with the original tales as well as thousands [written by authors other than Conan Doyle](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sherlock_Holmes_pastiches) being [adapted](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adaptations_of_Sherlock_Holmes) into stage and radio plays, television, films, video games, and other media for over one hundred years.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It is at this point that Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson become ensconced within the folds of this godforsaken hellfic.


	18. Watson (1/6)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an essay on narrative relevance. (guest-written by JOEbob.)

it goes without saying that the arrival of sherlock holms and watson into this presumably-fictional unscape- distinct from a hellscape in that it does not exist, in that it is not sufficiently spacially coherent to truly be a -scape, and in that it lacks excessive flames- was a metaphor. You see, it is the inherent nature of watson to represent in-universe explanations for things, per the term 'watsonian'. However, this unscape is often lacking in logical internal explanations for things. it is for this reason that Watson was given less attention then holms in the previous chapter; as watson is metaphorically irrelevant to the proceedings of the story, he receives and will receive less screentime. this chapter is no exception to that rule, as this is all a preamble to introduce something else, and more about the name watson then the actual actions of watson. as such, it is likely watson shall never be seen from nor mentioned again.

as to what this earlier paragraph is a preamble to, it must first be remarked two things. Firstly, that the word watsonian is inherently paired with the alternative perspective, Doylist, named for the author of the sherlock holms series, Arthur Conan Doyle. where the first of those words- I can't quite recall what it was- represents internal explanations, the word Doylist represents external explanations- reasons why the author wrote something. for instance, one might be inclined to wonder as to the reasoning behind the altered phraseology and eloquence of this chapter as well as its, if one is to check the scroll bar, slightly longer length then the average of the previous non-copy-pasted chapters, or as to the reason why it was written that someone could not recall the word which is paired with doylist when it is plainly clear that, if the writer were inclined to actually write the relevant word, they would be able to trivially scroll up and read their previous instantiations of that very word.


	19. Watson (2/6)

the reason for the second of those things is fairly obvious; humorous purposes. except insofar as the generously-refered-to-as-a-story which is ongoing here includes its own author within its unscape, there is no reason for these things within the unscape, only externally; and one might ask and answer similar questions about various occurences earlier in the sequence, such as the assorted speed-bridging and stunting Dream preformed in seemingly unhurried and simple travels. the Doylist reasoning is 'this story is obviously supposed to be a meme, it was a meme about dreams goodness at minecraft'. as stated earlier, the other type of reason is completely absent.

keeping this all in mind, the obvious question arises. since **W** hat's-his-face is going to be gone from now on because of the nature of the story, where is Arthur Conan Doyle, who should be indeed the main or most important character due to the proclivity, and primacy, of Doylist explanations. To this question there are two possible answers, one of which is stupid, and the other of which relies upon the second remark which must be made, but has not yet been made. The first answer is 'Doyle starts with D, and Dream starts with D, and Dream is the protagonist. antagonist? tagonist? whatever. solved'. I did, after all, say it was stupid. in any case, the second answer relies on the second remark, which shall be stated after the conclusion of this sentence, though I must warn you I make no claim that the second explanation will be any more satisfying, or any less stupid, then the first.


	20. Watson (3/6)

The second remark pertains to the Doylist reason for the altered phraseology and eloquence of this chapter as well as its substantive length, which sets it apart from those prior to it; the reason for the abruptness and totality of this alteration is simple. The previous author, one 'King_Fuffy#9075', is on break, while their acquaintance, a much more well-spoken member of a community the two both participate in with moderate to major frequency by the appellation of 'JOEbob', takes up the role of writing a chapter. This is unlikely to be a regular occurrence, though no promises are made.

On the grounds that there is no single author, it is clear there should be no single manifestation of authorial explanation in the story. But this does not mean there should be no such manifestation at all. So, the second explanation is 'because JOEbob was going to write a chapter at some point, and JOEbob in his foolish and less eloquent youth came up with a fictional race called Doydoys, which are similar to zombies save that they are alive and far, far less intelligent, and these are the manifestations of Doylistness; they were absent because, due to their incredibly poor intellect, they had failed to exit the door from their room. an especially impressive lack of accomplishment, as there is no door and no room'.


	21. Watson (4/6)

This explanation is especially elegant for the following reasons. Firstly, the word 'Doylist' starts with 'Doy', which is the unit of the name 'Doydoy' which is repeated twice to form that name. secondly, it does not take a particularly astute mind to observe that this story is neither the most coherent nor the most well-written nor the most, in a word, intelligent, story ever written. due to the superlatively poor intellect of the Doydoys, they are a fitting match for the inherent nature demonstrated by the story outside of the chapters written by myself.

Unfortunately for our tagonists, even such great stupidity as that of the doydoys- or as that of this story- cannot hold back the doydoys forever. This is not to say that the doydoys ever managed to fumble themselves out of the room; however, the Lorax happened to walk by a conveniently-placed american who mistook him for a football, which caused him to fly through a football goalpost. this, by the well-documented science of unscape noneuclidity- which is to say the science has been documented exclusively in the writings of sentient wells, and therefore is very poorly understood- transported the lorax to the Doydoys. The Doydoys were quickly eco-hypnotized by the Lorax midflight before he flew through a nearby tophat and exited exactly where he started, except moving in the opposite direction and at several times the speed; the lorax as such crushed the impudent american into meaty paste. but this is besides the point.


	22. Watson (5/6)

such is the superlative unintelligent of the doydoys that even eco-hypnotized drones are more effective then their ordinary fumbling attempts. Furthermore, the brief period wherein the doydoys are functioning at ordinary intelligence was, itself, paradoxically and retroactively, the very cause of this temporary shift in the authorship of the chapters. while the coherence of the story has likely, admittedly, not been markedly improved, at least its eloquence, length, and quantity of pointless drivel has been substantially increased. Before the Eco-hypnotism can fade, the Doydoys amble their way over to 221d baker street through a conveniently placed soccer goal. fortunately, this is on the wrong side of lundon. unfortunately, this all happened at the beginning of this chapter, and Wilbur and Dream were both waiting patiently for Holms to finish talking to his associate; furthermore, Holms could never finish talking to his associate, because he has no associate, and is alone the greatest detective that has ever died with no help. So, despite the bumbling incompetence of even Eco-hypnotized doydoys, the location our tagonists occupy is surrounded.


	23. Watson (6/6)

Suddenly, Dream notices the horde of Doydoys. He points this out to wilbur the vamprobiltant, who he doesn't know is immune to mirrors, and wilbur says his iconic quote of the traitor-man: 'it seems this partnership was never meant to be'. This is, of course, a misquote. Dream notices immediately, but has bigger things on his mind. using his masterful skills honed from weeks or possibly just hours of minecraft manhunts, dream immediately devises a way to escape, before remembering that he's indoors, and tunnelling through the floors generally invalidates leasing agreements. Being extremely polite, Dream decides not to interrupt Holms talking to himself yet, as it's only a minor zombie apocalypse. Dream devises a second cunning plan. Instead of tunneling through the floor, he walks to the second floor and builds a tnt launcher. Except, he is out of TNT, so he uses sand. by exploiting some little-know interactions with the hitboxes of cobwebs combined with the real physics of the rest of the house, he manages to adapt the process to work anyway! However, he forgot to open the window. This would not be a problem, as Dream is more then competent enough to test his creations on others before himself- he picked the guy standing next to holms, whatever his name was- but the sickening crack of test-firing hitting glass also drew doydoy attention, and one of them climbed up to the window and is now blocking it.

Dream is not cowed by his repeated failure, however! he devises a third genious plan! One might wonder how he has so much time 2 divise plans, but the Doydoys are not intelligent enough to try to break down the doors, so he has lots fo time. Dreams third plan fails because he doesn't have enough wood to make 20 boats, as the lorax interupted him before he reached the amount he would have otherwise made sure to always keep with him. his 4urth plan fails because it would require interrupting Sherlock. the fifth- bed bombs- fails because this isn't the nether.


	24. Watson (7/6)

his sixth plan, however- six is a lucky number, you know! or was it an evil number? eh, same difference! his sixth plan works a bit better! it's a simple plan: kill every doydoy himself. Luckily, a stone axe does as much damage as a diamond sword, so his stone axe, which has because he needed to chop down trees, does a lot of damage. He hits the doydoys with it repeatedly. They hit him too, but not as much, because dream is vrery god and minecraft. and very good at minecraft, buut he's practicualy a deity at it, whicjh is why i said god sea its clever. Anyway at some point dreams health is getting very low and he wants to retreat. but dremal has SO MUCH manhunt experience, you dun't even known, and he realizes: they can't see his health bar. they don't know how low his health is going! so he drinks a cup of water like it's a strength potion mixed with steroids and leaps forwards at the doydoys screaming a quote from himself in a manhunt: "YOU'RE DEAD MEAT!" and axe crits the doydoys, which breaks the shield they don't have and does some damage.

the doydoys are mostly out of ecohypnotism juice to metaphroicaly chug thou which is also why there's so much typos and less eloque... elock... ieloch...long words, because doydoys are story and storyteller and thingys sort of metpahorical. because of this, instead of understanding his taunt, they take it literally, and all the doydoys, thinking they are no longer alive and are made of dead meat, say "oh, Idoyduynmt' knows thiamkt,mt!'" and fall over like they're dead. Dream go back into baker house and casually say he just won a 1v20, and wilbur is suitably impressed. but like not as impressed as he would be to any random buy. because Dream is just that good, people already expecting he can do things like win a 1v20. and like will doesn't remebrknig dream for real but his subconsicuos can still remember him kinda so he's sort imperssed but not real.y

anyway, I wonder what (FUFFY WHATS THE NEXT VIEWPOINT) is doing now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wasn't that great?
> 
> JOEbob's typing style is somewhat similar to Calliope, now that I think about it.
> 
> Anyway, onto the next chapter.


	25. somic hengehog

The Onceler awoke in a metal chamber. The door to the chamber was sealed with an invisible bar. There were signs of the onceler's previous existence inside the chamber, so that only a single metal strip could be seen around the circular door. The chamber had a thin layer of dust.

Then, a screen lowered from the ceiling of the chamber, and turned on, displaying the Lorax's face. "Now tell me," asked the Lorax, " What have you done with this world and all its wonders?"

The Onceler looked confused. "What are you FUCKING talking about?"

Now it was the Lorax's turn to look confused. "You stole things from this world, right?"

"I don't know what you're trying to say."

"Oh, wait," noted the Lorax, "wrong guy. Give me a second." The screen retracted back up to the top of the chamber.

(Soon, he would find that the things the Lorax was looking for were stolen by Kermit in the scuffle. But that's not important right now.)


	26. hey ho, kermit dee frog here

The Onceler was still staring up at the ceiling when a nearby air vent whooshed, and then muttered "Psst." The door was shut, and the Onceler scooted over to the vent. "Hey. It's me, Kermit. I'm in the goddamn vents. With my gun. I'm gonna get you out of here."

"Kermit?" asked the Onceler, surprised. "Yeah, it's me." said the vent. "I stole the things, and now I'm gonna open the door, but it'll probably take a bit. Gimme a sec."

The door began making an ungodly whirring sound.

*WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*


	27. *whirring noises intensify*

*WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*

The Onceler checked his watch.

*WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*


	28. whuuuurrrrr...............

*WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR- KACHUNK*

"Ah fuck." said Kermit in the vent. "One minute."

...

*WHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*


	29. according to all known laws of aviation

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here.

You got lint on your fuzz. Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick our job today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up!

Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it.

Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach.

Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate.


	30. you eat a weird bug and don't even care

What a daring dream, to combine the finest qualities of humanity with the elegance and nobility of the animal kingdom. How you wish you could know their world. To hear one night those muted pawpads traipse up your stairs. A low but friendly growl unsettles your slumber, and as the sopor seeps from your eyes they detect a sharp pair of ears cutting moonlight. A mysterious wolven tongue invites. Wouldn't these ears suit you? Would not this proud long snout assist you in the hunt?   
  
No need to answer. Words slough from the busy mind like a useless dead membrane as a more visceral sapience takes over. Something simpler is in charge now, a force untouched by the concerns and burdens of the upright, that farcical yoke the bipedal tow. It now drives you through the midnight brush, your paws whisking through creepers, unearthing with each bold stomp bright odors demanding investigation. But not for long, as you and your new friend must claim the night with piercing howls moonward.   
  
You eat a weird bug and don't even care.

Your name is FUNDY, and you live in VICTORIAN LONDON now after a mysterious MINECRAFT CODING ACCIDENT. Your friend WILBUR SOOT seems to be a VAMPIRE in this timeline, so in order to gain his trust, you have constructed a false story about being a WEREFOX. No matter what anyone else says, you are NOT A FURRY.

The owner of the giant, can-shaped spaceship hovering above London is about to make an announcement.


	31. just before the announcement

The Lorax spun around on his chair. "Excellent. Now to relax and play some epic video games." There was a knock on the door. "Ugh. What is it THIS time?"

One of his lackeys entered. "Boss, you should probably make the announcement to all of London now."

The Lorax sighed. "Fine, I'll make it now." He grabbed the microphone and pressed the button to turn on the speakers.

The following chapter is what he recited verbatim.


	32. the announcement

"I’VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT. DREAMWASTAKEN’S A BITCH-ASS MOTHERFUCKER. HE PISSED ON MY FUCKING TREES. THAT’S RIGHT. HE TOOK HIS GIANT FUCKIN’ AXE OUT AND HE PISSED ON MY FUCKING TREES, AND HE SAID HIS AXE WAS THIS BIG, AND I SAID THAT’S DISGUSTING. SO I’M MAKING A CALLOUT POST ON MY TWITTER DOT COM. DREAMWASTAKEN, YOU GOT A SMALL FANCY SANTA. IT’S THE SIZE OF THIS WALNUT EXCEPT WAY SMALLER. AND GUESS WHAT. HERE’S WHAT MY CHAINSAW LOOKS LIKE. THAT’S RIGHT. TALL POINTS, NO PILLOWS, NO SAFETY, LOOK AT THAT, IT LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING CHAINSAW. HE PISSED ON MY TREES, SO GUESS WHAT, I’M GONNA CHAINSAW HIS TWINK. THAT’S RIGHT, THIS IS WHAT YOU GET. MY SUPER LASER CHAINSAW. EXCEPT I’M NOT GOING TO CHAINSAW HIS TWINK. I’M GONNA GO HIGHER. I’M CHAINSAWING THE MOON! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, WASTAKEN???? I CHAINSAWED THE MOON, YOU IDIOT. YOU HAVE TWENTY-THREE HOURS BEFORE THE MOON HITS THE FUCKING EARTH, NOW GET OUT OF MY FUCKING SIGHT BEFORE I CHAINSAW YOU TOO."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes. yes it is.


	33. a victorian ad put in the paper

NO ONE LIVES A SINGLE HOUR LIKE A SHITTEN SHITDOG. HIGHLY RESEARCHED SHITDOGS. THAT WOULD BE SHITTEN SHITDOGS BY THE TIME THEY WERE DATE OF DISAPPEARANCE. This is the only place in America where I would recommend anyone look for a Shitter. BUY A SHITTEN SHITDOG FROM SHITTEN CORP TODAY.


	34. finally, back to the plot at hand

Your name is Sherlock Holmes. You are one of the top sleuths in London. Solicitations for your service are numerous in quantity. Compensation, adequate. It is a balmy summer evening. You are feeling particularly hard boiled tonight. 

What will you do?

(READ THE NOTES FOR CLARIFICATION)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we start a brief, reader-interactive interlude!
> 
> You can input what you want Sherlock to do in the comments.


	35. > Sherlock Holmes: Dance.

You do an incredibly fanciful dance.   
This serves no purpose whatsoever.


	36. > Sherlock Holmes: Notice you are standing in your empty office and have been doing so for some time now.

What an absolutely preposterous thought! You have only been standing in your study for a couple of minutes.


	37. > Sherlock Holmes: Retrieve the MULTI-BARREL FIREARM.

The preposterousity just keeps piling up! There is no FIREARM in your study, and there never will be.


	38. > Gun: Misfire.

What did you JUST SAY?!?!?!?


	39. crud

Aisling was checking her Tumblr feed, and taking care of her private affairs, when she found a question in her inbox. Confused, he clicked on her and this time no questions were answered.

The question was "What would you do if you were at The Lorax?"

Of course, Aisling replied, "Go with that man, who is working to set him on fire, because the player is hot." However, he knew that even if he were a real Onceler, they could never be together because Sapnap would never allow him. Onceler was a capital, and Sapnap was a communist. They were destined to become bitter enemies.

Suddenly, a gate opened under him. The dream cried. Yesterday I just finished a worms accident. Dream promised to escape this incident as soon as possible, otherwise Dream Wazinski Taken his name !!! Eleven !!

\------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------------------------------------- ----------------

Aisling found himself in a tree, which was not strange since he always recorded his videos in trees. The strange thing, though, was that the tree was shaking and it was also very wet.

The dream realized that he was sitting in a truffle seconds before falling. He landed on Onceler (because he was an Onceler of course), which released greenish bishie particles. The dream was well known for particle law. He was lying on top of him in a very pleasant position. Like, super gay. The romantic tension was crazy, like you never got it in real life. I’ll stay in this article, no, now they do something.


	40. aaah

Aisling found himself in a tree, which was not strange since he always recorded his videos in trees. The strange thing, though, was that the tree was shaking and it was also very wet.

The dream realized that he was sitting in a truffle seconds before falling. He landed on Onceler (because he was an Onceler of course), which released greenish bishie particles. The dream was well known for particle law. He was lying on top of him in a very pleasant position. Like, super gay. The romantic tension was crazy, like you never got it in real life. I’ll stay in this article, no, now they do something.

The dream came true and helped Onceler. Onceler said, "Hey, I don't know where you come from, but you may need a place to stay. Do you want to stay where I am? Because I thought the dream was exciting. The dream was like, ‘Yes, well. "And the two went to Onceler 's room. When they reached the cabin, it was night, and there was only one bed, OH NO. They argued for a while (Dream wanted the bed to Onceler, Onceler wanted Dream to have the bed). Eventually, it happened.) Once on the bed, because this is for a slow burning door, and while Dream was asleep on an improvised coat made out of a truffle tree, it was a very good night.


	41. I think the story is being hijacted

\------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------------------------------------- ----------------

TheLorax joined the game

\------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------------------------------------- ----------------

Episode 2

Aisling and Unciller awoke to the sound of a knock on the door. Onceler was about to get out of bed, but Aisling said, "I'll get it." He got up to open the door.

The dream opened the door to reveal a very angry Lorax. Lorax began with a sermon. "Listen now, idiot, you can't blah blah blah blah blah blah blah my homeland blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah ..."

The dream was tired and he didn’t pay much attention to it, which might somehow explain why he kicked Lorax like a soccer ball in the distance.

\------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------------------------------------- ----------------


	42. ok its nearly over

At this point, you have to take a step back and look at the big picture. See, a very specific gene is found in some Americans. Jane 's American Football. Since the advent of modern MERICAN football, this gene has been carried by MERICAN FOOTBALL footballers. Now, with all that breed and size and the large number of MERICAN PURCHASE footballers, most Americans have at least one chromosome that contains the core of a MERICAN FOOTBALL.

There is another factor to play here. The human bush (in simple terms, the common lorax) is like a football.

Look, yes ... it's very similar. And it's almost the same color!

Of course, since Dream has a MERICAN FOOTBALL gene, his natural response to seeing something like a soccer ball is to kick it, which is why Lorax ended up going over two provinces and one city .

He’s saying something, let’s listen to him;

"DAMN YOUUUUUUUU, GREEN HIGH ..."

...

...

Yes, I don’t think I’ll be back for a while.

\------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------------------------------------- ----------------

After a long time

Onceler was sitting and knitting something, Aisling was outside, shaving straw boat-ladder-boat-wheel. Onceler was about to run out of truffle thread, so he asked Aisling to cut down a tree. "Yes, it 's okay," Aisling said, and ran to get a tree.

After making a fast bridge off a cliff and then an MLG boat, hits


	43. Chapter 43

Dream pressed his ear to the door of Sherlock Holmes' study. "Welp! He's not going to be of any help." He turned to Wilbur. "I think we should try to find the Onceler ourselves." 

"Well, I- I think we would have better chances of finding him if we had the world's greatest detective on our side." said Wilbur. "But, uh, I think I have a friend that can help."


End file.
